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| Wednesday, December 19th, 2007 | | 5:55 pm |
I found farmland!!!
A wonderful piece of farmland just fell into my lap! Woot! Tuesday morning I met with Rose Skora, the County Extension Advisor, at the Miraz restaurant. She gave me lots of great info about local farmers markets and many other things. The BEST piece of information was the cell phone number of one John Ruffalo, a local alderman that she knows. It turns out that he owns a piece of empty land that he'd like to see someone make good use of. I talked to him Tuesday afternoon, and a couple of hours ago I met him at the property and made a handshake deal with him. I am so excited. . . It's right here in Kenosha (well, actually, in Pleasant Prairie). Take 75th St. west to Cooper Road, which is about 50th Avenue. Go right to 73rd St. Go left on 73rd, which dead-ends after about a block. John and his brother own 2-1/2 acres there. More than I can possibly use, but he's letting me use the whole thing. It used to be a horse pasture but it's been vacant for a while now. (Read: no chemicals, lots of good fertilizer already in the ground, I may not have to fertilize at all the first year!) Water is available--there is a fire hydrant right there, and John tells me that if I call the water utility, they will install a meter and a faucet. I can just pull off the hydrant and pay the water bill. He also said that if I have a couple of friends who would like to share the land, they're welcome. He just doesn't want 50 people. One of Bob's fellow teachers, Jodi, is already interested. Two minor downsides that I can live with. One, there is no shed or anything like that for storage. Hmmm. I think I will price some cheap garden sheds. Two, the land is a little hilly. I'm going to have to be careful about what spots will get drowned when it rains, and what spots will get too dry in the hot summer. Oh--last but not least, he's letting me use it--for FREE. He's just happy not to have to mow it. Since it's now all grass, he has to keep it mowed to make Pleasant Prairie happy. However, if it's in crops, the village is content. I'm planning to find a local farmer with a tractor who will come in and till the whole thing this spring. Whatever part I don't use for vegetables, I will put in a cover crop of some kind. We agreed that I would have some kind of simple contract drawn up--something that protects him from liability if I get hurt, that kind of thing. And that I should just call him in the spring when I'm ready to go. Wow. It's actually going to happen. How about that. Current Mood:  ecstatic | | Monday, October 22nd, 2007 | | 8:05 pm |
I want to share two haikus I came across flipping through a book at work today. It was a children's book called "Dogku," which was a story about a little stray dog looking for a good home. It was written in--guess what--all haikus! It was pretty cute. On the back flap the author wrote about his decision to write in that form, and how it forced him to be very choosy with his words. He then included two haikus about haikus, which I really enjoyed. In the wide garden I am dizzy with flowers. I choose a small vase. Well, I wanted to share two! I can't remember the other one well enough to quote it. Drat! Tomorrow. | | Saturday, October 20th, 2007 | | 11:19 pm |
| | Thursday, April 27th, 2006 | | 9:50 pm |
I know its been a very long time since I wrote anything here, and it may seem like it is an oddly insignificant event that is moving me to break the silence . . . but I finished a book this evening. Actually, I just finished a trilogy. The Coldfire Trilogy, by C.S. Friedman. And I have been walking around stunned for the last hour, periodically shaking my head and whispering, " Oh, my God." And there is nobody home and I am consumed by the need to share this feeling with somebody. C.S. Friedman is not a new author but she is new to me. Her style can be a bit heavy-handed at times, a bit repetitive in her choice of words and phrases. But her characterizations, her ability to make the reader feel the doubts and fears and struggles and triumphs . . .*shakes head in frustration at the lack of an appropriate adjective* I have not had two characters be so real to me in a long, long time. They were so complex, so real, they became so much a part of me, that when I got to the end of the third volume and took in the last twist of plot I did not know how to feel because I felt so many things all at once. I have never had a book do that to me before. They don't affect everybody that way. It took Bob three tries to really get into the first book, and although he enjoyed it he didn't connect with it like I did. And he tried to read the second one and put it down after the first couple of chapters. *sigh* I was very sad when he quit reading the second book because I had had such a good time discussing the first book with him as he read through it. I just . . . it was hard reading something that gave me such intense emotions without having anyone to share them with. So here I am, trying to share them. At least a little. If anyone here wants to start reading these, and share their impressions with me . . . please, do. I feel so . . . Oh, my God. Current Mood: stunned | | Wednesday, December 29th, 2004 | | 9:55 pm |
I rarely do a quiz, but...
Hmmmm...I may just have to read The Picture of Dorian Gray. I had never heard of him before I saw "The League of Incredible Gentlemen," or whatever the name of that movie was.  | You scored as Dorian Gray. You are the immortal, narcissistic bachelor from Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray. Your physical beauty is matchless and your reputation, spotless. Meanwhile, your portrait suffers continual disfiguration as you pursue a secret life of debauchery, revealing the true content of your damnable soul.
Dorian Gray | | 71% | Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde | | 59% | The Headless Horseman | | 58% | Frankenstein's Monster | | 34% | The Invisible Man | | 33% | Count Dracula | | 21% | </td>
What's Your 19th Century Horror Character?
created with QuizFarm.com |
| | Saturday, November 13th, 2004 | | 9:51 am |
The Hunger Site
It's been a long time since I mentioned this in my journal, so here it is again. This is a group of sites that you can visit once a day and click a button to donate small amounts of funding to some really worthwhile causes: hunger, rain forest preservation, etc. It's totally FREE to you; the donations are made by the site's sponsors. It's legit, it's fast, it's free; please do this daily if you can! Here's the link: The Hunger Site | | Friday, November 12th, 2004 | | 10:25 am |
Clutter
A book followed me home from the library: Clean Your Clutter, Clear Your Life: a practical manual using Feng Shui principles. Not a terribly well-written book. I didn't even read it thoroughly; I mostly skimmed through it. However--it reminded me of something that I really needed to be reminded of at this moment in my life. What is that, you ask? Well, read on! It reminded me that clutter has a lot more bad effects than just making housework difficult and causing things to get lost. It's draining on the spirit. In Feng Shui terms, energy cannot flow through a cluttered house; it gets stuck, it stagnates. It drains energy out of the people living there. Oh, that is so true. I look around the house at all the mess and it makes me feel exhausted. But--this book made me realize that as I begin to clear the clutter, the effect of the clean spaces should snowball. As I clean each space, that space will stop exhausting me. Then I will have more energy to clean the next space. And so on... I have been cleaning the kitchen for the last two days. I now have clean countertops most of the way around. And it's kind of amazing--the effect it has on my energy. I'm looking at the open space and thinking about doing some real cooking again--not just sticking a frozen block of food into the oven. But I'm actually resisting the temptation to get too involved in that. I want to keep de-cluttering, not get sucked into another project. I want the whole house to make me feel more energized. Okay, done writing. Back to clearing my space!! Current Mood: hopefulCurrent Music: Silence, as usual--I love quiet :-) | | Tuesday, November 9th, 2004 | | 10:08 am |
A Couple of Global Warming Links
As I have been getting older and my family has been taking less of my energy, I have been awakening to global concerns. Just a couple of quick links for those folks who share my concerns or who want to learn whether they should be concerned... http://www.climatehotmap.orgThis is a site developed by a number of very reputable international organizations, including the Sierra Club, the World Wildlife Fund, and the Union of Concerned Scientists. Global warming is not just a fear for the future; there are signs of it all over the world. This site documents what is going on now and what many scientists project for the future. If you live in the USA, click on the bottom link in the left-hand menu, US Climate Impacts. I discovered the above site through this one: www.marklynas.org. Mark Lynas is a journalist and the author of High Tide, a documentary of his travels around the globe looking for current evidence/effects of global warming. A bit too sensationalistic in tone, but still an eye-opener. Did any people see the news in the last couple of days about the warming in Alaska? An 8-nation comittee spent 4 years studying the climate in the Arctic and has just published their draft report.The permafrost is melting, roads are buckling and buildings are sinking, shorelines are caving in and retreating 50+ yards a year because they have thawed, and many species, including polar bears, are threatened with extinction. Because of the way our weather patterns circulate, the Arctic is more sensitive to climate changes than the rest of the planet. Alaska is the "canary in the coal mine." Go here for the MSN article. After reading Mark's book, nothing in this article surprised me. And Bush is still fighting against committing the US to do anything. The international committe wanted to put a short phrase into their report--I can't find the wording right now, but something to the effect that all nations should recognize the threat and take steps to reduce greenhouse emissions. The US comittee representative would not sign the report with that phrase in it, saying that the administration would not commit to any action. I'm not sure whether the draft report still has that phrase in it, or whether they cut it in order to gain the US signature. Must do more research. *sigh* I meant to just post a couple of quick links and be done with it this morning...but I couldn't. Please forgive me if the above paragraph sounds like a rant, but I'm worried and angry and these events are just NOT making it into the mass media like they should. People have to know--so I'm trying to inform my friends. | | Thursday, November 4th, 2004 | | 10:34 am |
I am getting older; I am getting wiser. I am starting to figure out the things that make me truly happy. I need large and frequent doses of solitude. I treasure the mornings when I am left alone in the house. I meditate, I read LJs, I explore through books and the Internet the issues that are beginning to matter more and more to me. I am 45 years old as of October 23rd. My oldest son has found a wonderful lifemate and has begun his own household--still interconnected with mine, of course, but still his own. My middle son, always independent and mature beyond his years, is pretty much setting his own course. He still lives under my roof; I still give him food, shelter, hugs, and encouragement; but he, also, is largely on his own. Even Timothy is needing less energy from me than before (although quite a bit, still, at times). My perspective is changing. I am shifting out of my child-rearing years and into wider concerns. The three phases of a woman's life have been described as the Maiden, the Mother, and the Wisewoman (also, sometimes, called the Crone, but I like Wisewoman better). I am beginning to really understand how accurate that is. I am focused more on my future than on my children now. I am starting to understand what I really want and need. I am a solitary person. I have my mate, who is always there to love and support me. I have children who are/soon will be out into the world. I have friends that I can enjoy spending time with--but not too much time. I need my own time. I need my own space. I need my farm. My house has been a good place to live and raise a family for 15 years, but I need to shed it like a snake shedding a worn, outgrown skin. I refuse to work in the corporate rat race any more, and so I cannot afford to keep up with this old house and the 2nd mortgage and the repairs--nor do I want to. I am shedding. I am selling the house. I am paying off all the debt that keeps me shackled and fearful. I am buying as much land as I can afford and designing and building my own nest that I can afford. I read some true wisdom in an otherwise undistinguished book: "Have in your home only those things that you know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." This is what I will do. I am shedding my old, junk-filled, debt-laden skin. I will surround myself with those things that let me stretch, let me breathe, let me put down roots and grow and sing and dance (and as I write these words tears come to my eyes because it has been so long since I have done these things). This will happen somehow. It will happen if I have to sell the house cheaply. It needs work. It needs repairs. I don't know if I can afford even the important ones. But I will sell it for whatever price I can get. If it means I can't afford land yet, if I have to live in a trailer court for a year while we sock Bob's income away in the bank, so be it. But I will be out of the old skin, the old debts. I will be free. Current Mood: determined | | Thursday, October 7th, 2004 | | 9:42 am |
On Mondays and Wednesdays I have to be at work at the library at 9 am. On the other weekday mornings the house is quiet and empty and I have a little time to spend on myself. This has become my meditation time. I look forward to it. Tim catches the 7 am bus and I drive Bob to whichever school he is substituting at. I come home and make a cup of green tea. After I drink it I spend 20 minutes meditating. There are two basic methods of meditating--two ways of encouraging the mind to focus on something other than the constant torrent of random thoughts. You can repeat a word or short phrase (a mantra) or you can think about your breathing. I have tried both and I like the breath-following method. Meditation is so simple to describe and so hard to do! You just sit quietly and comfortably (lotus posture not required, hehe, just sit in a chair with your feet on the floor and your back straight) and watch your breathing. In the basic technique you don't try to make any changes to your breathing; you just pay attention to it. You don't try to stop thinking; you just try to ignore the mental chatter. If you realize your attention has been pulled away, you just acknowledge that and go back to watching your breathing. I can do that. The problem I have is that I can't do that and stay awake; it's a constant struggle every time. Any experienced meditators out there have any advice for that? | | Wednesday, October 6th, 2004 | | 7:53 pm |
Once more it's been quite a while since I wrote; I've been hibernating. I've known for some time now that I go in cycles. My anxiety flares up, I go into hibernation mode to hide from things, things pile up until I can't afford to ignore them any more, I come out of my cave to deal with them, I become severely anxious for a little while until I get used to the world outside of my cave, then I'm better for a while, then it starts over again. Right now I'm at the "better for a while" stage. The lengths of stages vary, and lately the "better for a while" stage has been pretty short. I'm tired of it. I'm working at doing something about it. Right now, two things: Firstly, I'm almost/just about/pretty sure that I'm going to quit playing FFXI. It's been a tremendous amount of fun--and it's addictive. It's too much like real life; it takes a lot of time to accomplish any really worth-while things in it. I tried cutting down on my playing time, but it didn't work. Yes, I played it less--but not enough less. And when I wasn't playing, I was constantly mentally juggling my to-do list to decide when I could next take time out to play. And the things that are really important to me were not getting done because I was prioritizing them lower than the game. So I haven't logged in for two days now. This has been a good thing; I feel better. So, that's thing one. I've quit the activity that had become my latest hibernation and was keeping me from getting the important things done. When I say I'm feeling "better," "better" is a relative term. I still feel pretty anxious most of the time. That's why my hibernation cycle keeps starting over. I stay out of the cave until I have dealt with enough of the things that have stacked up, then I get tired of the anxious feelings and I find something escapist to absorb me and I go back into the cave. This has got to stop. I have to break the cycle. So, thing two: to help me with the anxiety, I have returned to my meditation practice. So far, three days in a row! Congrats to me. More about this in future posts. Well, I hope my friends who are reading this don't mind me rambling on at length about my struggles with anxiety and my current psychological state. I'm hoping that writing about it will help keep me focused on working on it. Current Mood: anxious/hopeful/tired | | Friday, September 24th, 2004 | | 6:27 pm |
Well, it turned out that my health insurance was different than I thought it was and I could see my regular doctor after all. Diagnosis: viral bronchitis (no surprise). Rx: Robitussin cough syrup and an inhaler for when the symptoms get too bad. I've been sitting on my derrier for two days because I was too short of breath to do anything. Tomorrow must DO STUFF. I think STUFF multiplies when nobody is there to watch it and make it behave. TV is working again--got the dish to find the satellite. Looking forward to the season premier of Joan of Arcadia tonight. Current Mood: sinus headachy | | Thursday, September 23rd, 2004 | | 9:08 pm |
Drat. I just spotted the typo in my previous post ("care" should be "car," hehe) but I can't figure out how to edit my post. I am still very clumsy with LJ. | | 9:06 pm |
Not much new to report except that I'm miserably sick. James and Tim had colds and got better. I caught it and it went to my lungs. Breathing is work tonight. I'm supposed to take the care in to CarMax tomorrow (the check engine light is on) but I will probably abandon that in favor of having a car I can drive to a doctor. But which doctor? My long-time physician, Dr. Mattox, is not in the BadgerCare HMO, and I never bothered to seek out a new doctor. I learned recently that her office (the entire hospital, actually) is joining the HMO in November, so I thought it would be all good. But then came this bad chest thing...well, I'll find somebody. Maybe Dr. Mattox's office can recommend someone. In other news, the siding folks came back today and fixed our nearly-dangling satellite dish. Now we can try to reorient it and find the signal. Bob has been sad without his television shows... | | Monday, September 20th, 2004 | | 4:32 pm |
Our house looks really different now. After 3 days spent enduring the sounds of 4-5 people pounding on the walls with hammers, our old faux-brick asphalt siding has been covered by new gray vinyl stuff. Sears did a very nice job, gave us a 50-year warranty that is tranferrable to the next owner, and charged way too much. Oh, well. It will help us sell the house. And apparently siding is one of the home improvements that gives close to a 100% return in the investment. I'll post some pics as soon as I figure out how to get them from the camera to my LJ. The one complaint we have about the installation job is the re-mounting of our satellite dish. I climbed a ladder yesterday to re-align the dish and discovered that the upper two mounting-bracket screws are not in the wall at all--they are just caught in the siding, which is being pulled outward by the weight of the dish. Bad. I called the service rep a few minutes ago and he is going to send someone out to deal with it. He didn't say when, though--and he sounded a little miffed. It just feels so good to actually do something major to the house. I have been so stuck . . . I knew I needed to spend some major money and I couldn't quite bring myself to do it. But then some neighbor got fed up with the way our house looked and called in a complaint. We were ticketed for the old cars and junk in the driveway, the holey-roofed garage, and the peeling paint on the soffits and windows. And the citation got us moving. I'm actually grateful for whichever neighbor it was (and I don't really want to know which one it was). So we now have a clean driveway and a very nice looking house. We didn't have the windows sided; I still need to paint those. But I don't have to do the eaves (boxed in nicely with vinyl, yay) and I like to paint. I will deal with the windows as soon as the caulk on the new siding cures, in about a week. | | Sunday, September 19th, 2004 | | 10:44 am |
I have been thinking almost every day that I really ought to sit down and make a journal entry--and realized yesterday that I've been thinking this for about six weeks now. Enough is enough. Time to make some changes. Time to get some priorities straight. The problem I have is that when I'm feeling stressed (and I have been, really, for a LONG time) I hide. I hide in stuff that keeps me absorbed, makes me forget about being stressed--and keeps me from doing good things like actually working on my problems or communicating with other people on more than a cursory level. Lately, my hiding place has been FFXI (Final Fantasy XI, for those non-computer gamers out there, if any such read my journal, hehe). And not so much the game itself, really--it's Marissa's Fishing Forum that keeps sucking me in. That's an on-line discussion forum for people who enjoy the sport of fishing within FFXI. Every time I have a few minutes free I find myself saying that I'll just drop in on the forum for a few minutes and see what's new--and 45 minutes or an hour later I realize all my free time is gone and I have to go pick up Bob or some other important busyness. And this sometimes happens 2 or 3 times a day. So--no more. I really don't need to read every new post in the forum every day. I have much higher priorities than keeping up with discussions about virtual fishing among people that I have never/will never meet in real life. I'd rather open up lines of communication to the real people I know and love. I'd rather have time to do some introspection. So, voila. My first serious LJ entry in quite a while. And I plan it to be the first of many. But now I have to run off. Our friend Ron, who generously helped us fix our sagging front porch (more about that later) is remodelling his upstairs. We are going to return his favor to us by helping him build/install a new closet. I'm looking forward to the carpentry experience. Bye for now! | | Thursday, September 16th, 2004 | | 9:33 pm |
Hey, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) stormdog, look! You're my Random Alien Crewmember of Diversity. Somehow, that fits.... | | Monday, August 2nd, 2004 | | 12:11 pm |
I haven't been posting anything lately because I've been feeling lousy. Every time I get up and move around I start feeling weak, light-headed and dizzy. This has been going on for about a week. In my educated layman's medical knowledge, I have two guesses. 1) anemia 2) Maybe my history of acute bronchitis and lung problems when I catch a cold has become something more dramatic. Walking pneumonia? Mild chronic bronchitis/asthma? I have a doctor's appointment for Wednesay. I hope it's something that can get better by Monday, when I start my new job. In the meantime, I've been doing almost nothing. Nothing constructive, anyway. Just no energy at all. Played lots of Final Fantasy XI on-line and am having great fun. All in all, though, I'd much rather be able to be working on the house. In other news, our friend Mike is arriving from Minnesota any minute now to spend the week. Yay! Actually, he just got here...bye for now! | | Thursday, July 29th, 2004 | | 11:38 am |
| | Saturday, July 24th, 2004 | | 11:14 am |
Been a long time . . .
I decided I was going to stop saying, "I really ought to get back to my LJ," and actually do it! So here I am. The big news is that I am employed again. I interviewed with the Kenosha Library a couple of weeks ago; they called yesterday to say I had the job! It's part time. The schedule includes every other Saturday, so it's 12 hours one week and 16 the next. I'm planning to be very happy checking out books and reading stacks for $8.19 an hour. The extra $400 or so a month will be very nice (as in, it'll make the difference between having to pinch every penny and being able to spend a little money fixing up the house). I start Monday, August 9th. At the beginning of the summer I had hoped to be buying a farm in the fall. Now I'm targeting spring. (Hmm; are seasons capitalized? I never can remember.) Everything takes longer than you think, and honestly, I've been pretty lazy. I'm not sure where my motivation is. I still WANT the farm, very badly; but somehow I am not working toward it anywhere near as much as I should. Maybe if I start documenting my progress here, it'll help. Part of the problem is that cleaning and fixing up the house to sell it look so overwhelming . . . also, I think part of me is really afraid it isn't possible. Land around Kenosha is expensive----- The plan, in rough terms, is: 1. Clean and dejunk the house to the point where I am not embarrassed to get a professional estimate: what is it worth as it is, what should I fix before I try to sell it, etc. Target: fall. 2. When I know how much money I will have, start looking at area property. In the meantime, start doing needed repairs. Take out a bigger home equity loan, if necessary. 3. Hopefully, be ready to sell/buy in the spring. Wish me luck, everybody; it scares me. |
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distressed